“A Happy Marriage Is The Union Of Two Forgivers."

  "Many Americans today can no longer accept the idea that love requires sacrificing oneself or making oneself unhappy or doing things that do not (at least eventually) serve one’s individual best interests. If a relationship does not bring pleasure, insight, satisfaction, and fulfillment to the self, then it is regarded as wrong, and the individual is justified–perhaps even obligated–to end the relationship and find a new, more fulfilling one."  Roy Baumeister, a penetrating and contemporary social psychologist, has observed:   "Morality has become allied with self-interest. It is not simply that people have the right to do what is best for themselves; rather, it has become an almost sacred obligation to do so. The modern message is that what is right and good and valuable to do in life is to focus on yourself, to learn what is inside you, to express and cultivate these inner resources, to do what is best for yourself, and so forth.

  I see this kind of attitude all the time. It is definitely one of Satan's tools. If he can get us to think more about ourselves than others then the natural man takes over. In marriage we have to constantly work on thinking of our spouses needs as well as our own. We have to learn to say we are sorry, and notice when we need to change our thinking and actions. "Satan will laugh us into conflict and misunderstanding—unless we yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit and put off the natural man (see Mosiah 3:19). No wonder God asks us to become as children—submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things. Unless we submit ourselves to God and His extraordinary way of thinking, we will always be isolated and discontented."

I find that I fall into this trap quite bit, without even meaning to. I have a bad day and want my husband to respond patiently and and with understanding, but he has a bad day and I don't always give him the same kindness back.  I am easily frustrated and need to work on looking at things from his point of view. Learning to serve each other is the best way we can grow together and over come selfishness. "Love is not a happy accident it is a choice"

Quotes taken from H. Wallace Goddard "Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage" )